He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
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I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
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he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
The Olympian is in my bed
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
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