I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize