i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
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