this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
NoShamevember. You game?
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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