at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Randomize
