I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
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