I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
