you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
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