You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
He went down on me and then slapped my ass saying "thanks for the confidence boost"... is this all I'm good for?
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
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