I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
