PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
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