My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
