So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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