she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
Randomize
