brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Found your dick twin last night
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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