never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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