apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
Randomize
