It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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