I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
Randomize
