he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Just checked my recent transactions online. Between the hours of 1 and 3am on September 30th, I went to 7/11 4 times. Unacceptable.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
