Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
