So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
