that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
