People in love make me want to vomit
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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