Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize