No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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