he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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