Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
Randomize
