I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
