Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
