he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
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