If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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