I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
So you've been sexting me while spending time with your family
I'm a family man but I have priorities
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
