I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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