If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
COCAINE IS GR8
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
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