something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
