i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
Randomize
