I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
