I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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