This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Well start with a list of things you don't want to do... Like maybe 1) I don't want join Isis. That's a good start.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Randomize
