it's too hot outside to masturbate.
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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