her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
NoShamevember. You game?
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
