While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
it's gotten to the point where I just look in my closet, think, "which article of clothing behaves most like a towel?" and then just go with that
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
