I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It's blow job season.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
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