I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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