Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
Randomize
