no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Randomize
