Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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