just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
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