I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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