Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
