I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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