that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
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