fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize