you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I CAN CONTROL MY GERBIL WITH MY BREATH. HE FOLLOWS THE SMELL. PROBABLY WOULDNT BE AS EXCITING IF I WASNT HIGH OFF MY ASS, BUT STILL
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Randomize
