he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
