therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
