Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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