It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
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