Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Randomize
