You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
