He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
