so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
