there was a trapeze. enough said
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Randomize
