DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
love makes seman taste better
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
