dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
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