wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
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