omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
What a dumb baby whore.
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
I just traded a couple nudes for pizza delivery. Call me lazy, easy, or an entrepreneur, but either way I'll have dominoes in 15 minutes.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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